Ms X - Part I
When Vin asked me if I would consider writing about the “Boudoir Experience” from my perspective...things like initial thoughts, the planning phase, the excitement, the nervousness, the session itself, and then finally, the outcome… I never once thought of answering in any way other than “OF COURSE!”
First of all, I’m not shy by anyone’s standards. In fact, I really kinda love attention (wink). So the opportunity to talk about this is right up my alley.
Second, I cannot convey enough how AMAZING the whole experience was for me, and still continues to be each time I look at my pictures - which to be honest - are more like works of art crafted by Vin’s skilled eye.
Third, by profession I counsel women everyday who are generally feeling pretty low about themselves - I’ve been there myself. In speaking with them, I always say that everyone who looks at you, sees you through a different lens or at a different angle, and YOU never quite know what THEY see. When they are questioning their self worth because they are doubting their appearance, I tell them, “it’s NOT your appearance...it’s the angle you are viewing yourself at!”
Let me tell you - THIS is the angle all women need.
From the moment I saw the Intimate Loop Boudoir Facebook page, I was in. I did a little bit of research as to what defines “Boudoir Photography”, read some of the comments that Vin’s former clients made, and called him within hours. Right from the start I told him that I was ready to go and he told me with genuine appreciation that he applauded my decisiveness. My only questions were about what I would be allowed to bring with me to the session regarding clothes, props, makeup, music, etc. We booked my appointment for 4 days away - and not ONCE did I think twice about it. I warned him that I was a handful and needed some reigning in at times...but he just laughed and said that it sounded like we would have a really fun photo shoot and he was looking forward to it.
I texted him a few times over the next 3 days with a few questions about logistics, about shoes, about lighting… I sent some pics of the clothes I wanted to wear (ok, let's be honest here, not clothes as much as ummm...small pieces of fabric? LOL). He responded right away every time and gave me 100% honesty, even telling me that some of the “clothes” probably wouldn’t photograph well, and that some of the shoes were “impractical painful looking tools of torture” and would look PERFECT on film. LOL.
The day of my session, I was so excited that I practically leaped from my bed at 6:45 a.m. even though I didn’t need to leave my house until 11:00. I had all my clothes (and a few props) packed and ready to go, my nails and toes had been perfectly mani’ed and pedi’ed the day before, I was newly waxed in all the places I wanted to be waxed, and I had my makeup and hair tools / accessories ready for each outfit change (I did warn him about the “handful” part 😉).
It was so cool meeting Vin for the first time that afternoon after speaking on the phone - I felt like I’d known him for ages already since ya know, we’d discussed things like how comfortable I am in different stages of nudity, what parts of my body I wanted to show, the details of the “fun” pics I had previously sent to my boyfriend, etc. He’s easy to talk to about uncomfortable (to some) topics.
I have confidence to spare; not because I’m arrogant about my appearance, or think that I’m perfect. Nope. I’m confident because I KNOW that I am the only me that there is or will ever be. I’m attractive based on my genetic features, I know that. But I also use those features as I need them, or as the situation dictates, to make me the most confident I can be in my surroundings.
Example: when I was a teenager, girls were wearing bright blue eyeshadow and tons of eyeliner - and it was the 80’s so of course there was BIG hair. So I did the exact opposite. I knew my green eyes were small and could use some eyeliner to make them look bigger, but then it would take away from the color. So instead, I played up my lips - which are already big to begin with and I was always a little embarrassed of as a teen girl - with liner, cherry red lipstick (all the other girls were wearing gobbed on frosty pink) with just a teeny hint of gloss in the center of the bottom lip...and wore my hair either back in a ponytail, in cute braids, or in a messy “updo” (it’s kinda like what girls do now where they throw their hair up in a scrunchie that appears magically out of nowhere until it’s all perfectly UNperfect in a bump on the top of their heads in a process that takes 4.2 seconds) that took me about an hour to craft in the morning, and multiple trips to the girls room throughout the day to fix.
The end result of this was that I stood out from the crowd, thereby getting a lot of attention. I knew then, and still know today, how to use the features that my parents gave me so that I can have the freedom to be confident in any situation.
Why do I mention that? Because I’m also overweight. Not tremendously - about 20-30 pounds at any given point - but it’s enough where I’ve been called fat by both men and women. The thing is, I’m not - not by my standards FOR MYSELF. I like myself better with extra weight. I feel like I look healthier with a fuller body, I fill out clothes in a sexier way, and most importantly, I’m happier for sure - so with that I have more natural confidence.
No one is physically perfect and I know that I definitely am not. But I’m all good with who I am - so as I stated above - I was able to walk into my session with ease, confidence and no nervousness.
But when I walked out - wow. I felt...joy. Joy over the love that I felt for ME. I know - it sounds maybe silly, maybe arrogant - but I left Vin’s, after getting to see the shots on screen as we went through the session - feeling PERFECT.
And I know - I just KNOW - that any woman would feel the same. They would walk out with the same “chutzpah” that I have, even if they didn’t walk in with it!
I have to say - this wasn’t really the way I planned on writing this all down. I want to tell you all the details about the session itself and how much fun it was...and about how I decided to show my closest friends my finished pics and what they had to say about them, and about how I initially did these pics for my boyfriend who’s kinda been long distance for the last 6 months and HIS reaction (yeah - he liked them hehehe).
More than that though - I really want to tell you about my thoughts when Vin presented me with the album. I really want every woman, hell, every PERSON to feel that sense of loving the person that you see in those pics - YOU - and how it empowered me in ways I never considered.
So if Vin will let me (C’mon Vin...one more? LOL), I’d love to write another little (ok, longish) post.
If you ever doubt whether you should leap into this experience or not, my advice is DO IT...and DO IT WITH A BIG SPLASH! ❤