The Allure of Being Seen…

… In such a way seemed a bit taboo for some - was one I always had toyed with. After all, for as long as I can remember, I had always felt I had a sensuality in my nature that was beyond my comprehension. It is not something that was overt at all, but the little I did notice felt intimidating. During my youth, I think my longing for affection was more a replacement for lack of attention. Once I was able to harness my ability to understand my femininity and essentially embrace it, it was taken from me. In a sense, by my own doing.

That day, when my dear friend mentioned to me her newest dalliance into the world of boudoir photoshoots – I dove headfirst with interest.

“So, what was the experience like? How did it make you feel, did you get your pictures back, yet?” She looked at me coyly, as if to state the obvious – don’t I already know? As she began to talk in a shushed tone, I found my mind wandering – why was this taboo? Is it supposed to be, why would it be so outlandish to feel so comfortable in front of someone else and expose a bit of skin for my pleasure? To feel beautiful, it is just skin after all.

She told me it did not feel uncomfortable or awkward - that her photographer, Vin, was professional yet confident about the whole process. He made her feel at ease and reassured her in a way that she had not thought was possible. Her discussion with me about how beautiful and freeing it felt to be so “exposed,” in front of another person without feeling uncomfortable - made her feel powerful, sexy and strong. The way her face lit up when she told me everything that happened made me feel so proud for her. What would it feel like to be that way for myself again? What would it take? Could this be me, too? When she exclaimed how amazing she felt in an octave I was unfamiliar with, it snapped me out of my reverie – I shook my head in agreement, “this sounds so amazing.”

I meant it, I really did…and more than anything I wanted me to echo the same sentiments – I think I may be ready. “So, where did you find this guy…”